What Happens When Harry Potter Produces an Opera?
by Morag X. Henegev
Summary: So do you want to know? Read it, and see what happens. Originally, Albus Dumbledore was producing it, but Harry blackmailed him with picture of him making out with McGonagall......................


Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry was totally without anyone skilled enough to produce an opera.Sure, there was Dumbledore, but that didn't make any difference to Harry.Harry accidentally took a picture of him and McGonagall making out, so he blackmailed him, and now Harry Potter is producing it.He did have problems choosing the right opera.Especially after his dream…

Harry woke up in the middle of some town.Somehow, Harry realized it is Leipzig.He wanted to see if J. S. Bach is still there, composing or playing organ. He knew Bach was already dead for about two hundred years, so he went straight to St Thomas church.When he entered, to his luck someone was playing the organ.Harry came closer to the organist, and he was utterly surprised when he saw that it's no one else than Bach himself.Bach stopped playing what ever he was playing, cantata, fugue, or something else, and said:

-"Perform one of my operas."

His ghost like voice rang through the high ceiling.

-"But I don't know that you wrote any operas at all" – Harry replayed confusingly. 

-"Oh, yeah.I forgot, sorry."

So that caused Harry to totally change his opinion.Than he wanted to do something from Händel, but the author doesn't know anything about Händel's operas, so he couldn't do it.Than he remembered that Hermione/Mew was writing her great fanfic about "The Magic Flute", so he just copied.He was cheap, so he didn't really care that it was idealess.

-"Okay, everyone who wants to try out, to be in the opera, in the Hogwarts auditorium" – McGonagall announced, furiously.Just before this, she tried to make deal with Harry.She will pass him in Transfiguration if Harry gives her to be the Queen of the Night.Harry was already passing Transfiguration, with 51%, so he didn't really need to place McGonagall as Queenie. 

In the auditorium, everyone was so excited.Than suddenly, Lee Jordan came in, in his reggae style, and started acting cool. 

-"Hey girls I have joke for you" – He said, leaning over Pansy and Millicent. – "A girl comes into the store, and buys one bread, one milk, one chocolate, one roll of toilette paper, one detergent, and on and on she buys everything single.After she paid the bill, the sales person asked her: 'Are you single?'; 'Yes' she replied, 'How do you know?'; 'Because you are freaken ugly'.

Pansy and Millicent laughed, so Lee went over to the orchestra.He went over one viola player, and asked him:

-"What's the range of viola?"

-"Well, it's…" – the musician didn't even have time to finish, because Lee had his own answer.

-"Twenty feet, if you have good hand.Now, lemme ask you, what's the difference between viola and trampoline?"

-"Well it's…" – he again tried to answer, but Lee was invincible. 

-"You take your shoes off when you are jumping on trampoline."

SMACK, the viola player hit Lee with his viola in his head. 

Lee finally went of to someone else, because he felt underestimated.Which he was.

-"Okay people, now who wants to try for Sarastro first?" – Harry asked everyone.Many lots of male basses raised their hand.

-"I do" – Draco said, climbing on the stage.He gave Harry something like the book, like he is returning him book he was landed, but Harry felt that book was hollow inside, and filled with something metal.The metal thing was shiny, and it was Galleons.

-"Ooh" – Harry nodded his head, getting what was Draco about to do._He is bribing me.I am so smart. _

-"And there we go with out new Sarastro" – Harry said, as half of the auditorium booed.

They found all other characters, like Tamino – Crabbe; Pamina – Hermione; Three Ladies – Lavender, Padma, and Parvati; Three priests – Fred, George, and Lee; Papageno – Ron; Papagena – Cho; and others…

When they were trying for the Queen of the Night, there was biggest row.Pansy, and everyone else who tried didn't have enough high voice to sing this (you, know not everyone can sing to f'', in the aria 'Der Hölle Rache kocht meimen' like I can; yes you can consider this as showing off). So he just choused to sing it himself.

The final performance would be fine if they didn't use real snake in the first song.Tamino/Crabbe was supposed to fight against some snake, and than three ladies come and save him.But unfortunately they had to go to the washroom, so the real snake killed the unreal Tamino.No one cared for Crabbe, but there was no one to save anyone.And The Queen of the Night/Harry succeed to frame Sarastro/Draco of being evil.And it was the end.


End file.
